a_touch_of_gray's Journal

Cedar Rapids
My name is Dwayne, but folks around these parts often call me Puck.

I live in Cedar Rapids with Julie (my gorgeous fiancee) and the two coolest dogs on the planet: Teddy (shii tsu) and Lola(pomeranian).

I am currently working as a relay operator. That means I assist the deaf andhard of hearing making phone calls. For the first time in my life I am actually proud of the way I am making a living. And through my job, I'm learning American Sign Language.

I am also currently working on a horror novel that takes place in one of those weird old fairy tale theme parks.

I am the moderator of writers_over_25.

I also have a channel on You Tube: BluestFlamingo

All contents of this journal are copywritten Copyright 2007 Dwayne D. Fry All rights reserved

Frequently Unasked Questions
Are you the blogger formerly known as mud_in_your_eye?
If you need to ask that, you don't know me very well.

Why are you called "a_touch_of_gray"?
There are several reasons. First, it comes from the Grateful Dead song, "A Touch of Grey", even though they use the British spelling of gray while I favor the American spelling. My hair and my beard have a little bit of gray in them, so it fits me for that reason. But, mostly it fits my way of looking at life and analyzing things. I don't see things in black and white, but in many shades of gray.

What kinds of things do you write about in your journal?
*shrug* Whatever pops into my mind. Sometimes rants about annoying people, sometimes memories of other times, sometimes lots of pop culture hoo ha.

If I friend you, will you friend me back?

Why is your user info page so freakin' long?
Because I keep thinking of new stuff to put here and I'm not good at tossingout the old stuff.

Why did you close the old journal?
Everything closes sooner or later. Even Disneyland will close for good one day. Well, okay, maybe not Disneyland, but everything else.

So, what is your occupation?
I'm a writer.

What do you write?
Mostly comedy, but the stories are generally coupled with other genres (I'm now working on a horror/mystery).

Can I read it?
I'm only sharing it with a select few for now.

Have you been published?
No, but my fiancee is working to change that.

So, if you have no income from your writing, what do you do for a living?
I'm a relay operator.

Okay. What is that?
I assist deaf people in making phone calls.

They contact me by computer and give me a number to call. I call the number, inform the hearing party that this is a relay call and explain how it works, then the deaf party types what they want to say, I read it and type to them whatever the hearing party has to say.

So, what sorts of things go on on these calls?
I can't answer that directly, as I signed a confidentiality form not to divulge any information from the calls. We'll just say deaf people make all the same kinds of calls anyone else makes.

I have to take relay calls as part of my job and I hate it. They take so

Just be glad you're the callee and not the caller, then. Imagine every phone call you make being that long.

A short film I made entitled "bleak heartland". Come see it.

What is your favorite food?
Barbecued Ribs.

Favorite beverage?
Coffee... strong and black.

Rock band?

David Bowie

Blues artist?
John Lee Hooker

Country Singer?
Johnny Cash

Stray Cats


New Wave?
Adam and the Ants / Adam Ant

They Might Be Giants


TV Show?
Twin Peaks


What is your favorite roller coaster?
Wild Thing ~ Valleyfair, Shakopee MN

Favorite fairy tale?
Little Red Riding Hood

Nursery Rhyme?
Humpty Dumpty

Favorite cartoon character?
Daffy Duck

Duck Amuck

Who will be president in 2009?
All I can tell you is that they will be less embarrassing than Dubya. Unless it's "Mittens" Romney. At least Rush Limbaugh isn't running.

Wow, if you don't like George W. Bush, Mr. "Mittens" and Rush then you must be a Democrat. Are you?
No, I just don't like stupid people.

Do you hear voices in your head?
No, in my elbow.

When it comes to livin', dyin' is the easy part.
~ Samson

Quotes I Like
The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
~Proverbs 19:11

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
~Mahatma Gandhi

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.
~John Lennon

When we love a woman, it does not occur to us to take her measurements first. We love with our desire.
~Pablo Picasso

You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.
~ Ray Bradbury

If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.
~ Noam Chomsky

It is our choices Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
~ Albus Dumbledore

Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.
~John Lennon

Trust in dreams, for in them is the hidden gate to eternity.
~Kahill Gibran

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.
~ Albus Dumbledore

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
~ Groucho Marx

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
~ Johnny Carson

"Everyone wants to understand art. Why don't people try to understand thesong of a bird? Why do people love the night, the flowers and everything around us without insisting on understanding them? But when it comes to a picture, people think they must 'understand' it. If only they would realise that an artist creates because he must create, that he himself is only an insignificant fragment of the world and that no more attention should be paidto him than to many other things in the world which delight us although we cannot explain them.
~ Pablo Picasso

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
~ Albus Dumbledore

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can'tjust accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
~John Lennon

One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a pair. People will insist on giving me books.
~ Albus Dumbledore

Female Carney looking for a man with a hammer to ring my bell. Must have at least three teeth and must love goats.
~Best personal ad ever (seen in the Iowa State Daily in April 2005)

1. There's no need to put any real thought into comments. A simple "wtf", "lol" or "omg" will do. These are just a few suggestions. There are many other possible annoying anagrams one can use, such as "zomg", "rotflmao" or the ever popular "tuwwfgpas".

2. Create an icon of your favorite celebrity looking shocked. Add the letters "wtf" to the icon to prove just how far you'll go to be unoriginal. For best results, use this icon when leaving comments that say nothing but "wtf". Double "wtf", double banality!

3. People never get tired of seeing exclamation points with ones inserted in them, thusly: "!!!!1!!1!". Like knock knock jokes and STDs, this will never cease to bring gales of laughter.

4. When telling a story about somtething that happened to you and you wish to put it in script form, make sure you proceed it with a cast of characters, thusly "Me = me; Him = The guy I was talking to; Her = the girl with the guy I was talking to". And, do not ever, ever forget to point out that "me" means you.

5. Be sure to put the number 69 in your user name somewhere. That way everyone will know that you at least think about sex, even if you aren't having it. Or, you could use the number 666 and maybe everyone will think Satan himself has an LJ account.

6. If you must put memes and quizzes in your journal, by all means make sure that at least half of the answers show you made no attempt to think about a clever answer. Ex. "If you could be any kind of yogurt, what kind of yogurt would you be?" I don't know. Tons of vague answers that are meaningless to your friends are fun, too. Ex. "Who do you have a crush on right
now?" You know who you are.

7. Sum up your mood, your day, your feelings in three little letters: meh.Do this often. There's no need to be articulate or anything.

8. Blinkies, blinkies and more blinkies. Every blinky is another brick in your wall of banality.
Blinkie Maker
Make your own Blinkie

Cool Websites:

Alice In Wonderland!

Dysfunctional Family Circus!

Fly Guy!

Harry Potter / Lexicon

Homestar Runner!

Imaginary World

Jesus of the Week!

Junior's Juke Joint!


Roller Coaster Data Base!

URrelay (My employer)

The Wall!

Tacky Postcards!

Snickers (aka "Nicky")
1993 - 2006

Rest in peace, little friend.

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(c) 2007 Dwayne D. Fry